Motivation for Change: Pain or Hope?
Little Buds Peony Farm, Kent
““And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.””
Change and what motivates people to change their lives is a subject that has been on my mind for a long time. What motivates a person to quit their job and start something completely new? To move to a different city? To end a long-term relationship? In a recent self-help content binge, I came across a ‘Diary of a CEO’ podcast in which host, Steven Bartlett, talks to Robert Greene about pain as a catalyst for change. Greene dictates, ‘You have to feel a degree of pain and frustration to say, I need to make a major change in my life.’ Out of the two-hour podcast, this one sentence stayed with me, becoming an annoying repetitive thought that both resonated but didn’t sit well with me. Why was this the case? Could I not change my life in a significant way without going through a painful experience?
At the time, as it happened, I was going through a painful experience and this sentence from the podcast landed exactly where it was likely intended – to motivate me to drive change, rather than giving up, complaining or blaming others for my unfortunate circumstances. For people experiencing pain, these words can comfort, motivate and inspire. But what I wanted to know was whether it was possible for me to have reached the same conclusion without going through a painful experience. Were small consistent changes enough to avoid one catalyst moment that would motivate a big change?
When I think about types of pain that motivate change, they seem to fit into two different categories. The first being an acutely traumatic experience, for example the death of a loved one, the loss of a job or the ending of a relationship. These are rarely within our control and can be, but are not always, motivators for change. The second type of pain, that which Anaïs Nin describes, is far more chronic and indolent. The type of pain that is brought about by the feeling that the life you are currently living has become so deeply unsatisfactory that it is now more painful to continue living it than it is to change. This type of pain feels far more within our control and relates to the concept of cognitive dissonance, in which we feel discomfort because our behaviours do not align with our values or beliefs.
As humans, we often experience change as painful. Perhaps because it is so often associated with loss and therefore grief. It makes sense then that our current state must reach a level of pain that is greater than the pain we associate with change. But what is it that would motivate us to change without pain? And why do some people view change as a positive experience, rather than a painful one?
Psychology lends us a number of theories which may help us feel motivated to change without significant pain. The Self-Determination Theory (by Deci & Ryan, 1985) focuses on intrinsic motivation - doing something because it is inherently satisfying. For example, if you feel competent work, you might be driven to take on new challenges, because you find it fulfilling. But what if your current behaviours, at work or at home, are not intrinsically fulfilling?
C.R. Snyder’s Hope Theory (2002) emphasises the power of hope in motivating change. Hope involves believing you can find pathways to your goals and being motivated to follow them. Research by Snyder et al. (2002) shows that hopeful people perform better academically and athletically, suggesting that hope can drive change even without pain. For me, this is the best answer to combating cognitive dissonance. Carol Dweck’s Growth Mindset (2006) supports this, suggesting that people who believe their abilities can be developed are more likely to embrace challenges and persist through setbacks. This mindset promotes change through positive engagement. For instance, a student who believes they can improve through effort is more likely to tackle difficult subjects and persist despite setbacks, leading to significant academic and personal growth.
But where does hope and a growth mindset come from? Expecting them to exist within us inherently without the need to practice and work on them, is likely a recipe for failure. We can however use our environment to motivate us. Albert Bandura’s Social Learning Theory (1977) suggests that people learn and change behaviours by observing others. Positive social interactions and support can motivate change. Placing ourselves in environments in which change is perceived as positive, in which others are hopeful and a growth mindset is encouraged may be the answer.
As a doctor, my linear training pathway rarely fosters reflection, growth and change. Doctors often reach milestone points in their careers, in which they are forced to make a decision, for example at the end of foundation training. Many doctors feel uncertain at these points but the pressure to apply for the next job forces them to make a decision. There is a feeling that they’ll be left behind if they don’t or that if they take too much time out of training, it would be harder to get back in. This often results in them continuing down a path by default and one that might not necessarily be right for them. The subsequent lack of flexibility within the training pathway then makes it almost impossible to change direction outside of these set points. When they attempt to do so, it can be met with resistance and often viewed as a lack of commitment.
Despite these difficulties, I believe it is important to engage in reflection, hope and the growth mindset and surround ourselves with like-minded individuals. The goal is to encourage growth before pain, dissatisfaction or depression kicks in. Clearly, big institutional changes to the training pathway could encourage this. A lean away from a linear training pathway to encourage a more flexible, portfolio career would certainly help. But until these changes are made, it needs to be done at an individual level. I hope that the more commonly people see that it’s possible and even positive, the more likely widespread change is to happen on an institutional level.
At the end of the day, do I think that these theories could prevent us from experiencing any pain at all? Absolutely not, painful experiences are part of the fabric that makes up life alongside the happy experiences, the sad ones, the confusing ones and those filled with growth and excitement. But do I think that this regular persistent reflection and dedication to change could prevent us from remaining tight in a bud? Absolutely!
